As a mama I know there can be a lot of expectations around being able to “DO IT ALL”. The truth is, having it all and doing it all is possible — if you give yourself the tools you need to succeed. It was a challenge to becoming more efficient, but I quickly learned to navigate the challenges and fears. I am now able to be of massive service to my family and to the world, not to mention having financial freedom.
When I found out I was pregnant my first call was to my partner Ryan. His reaction took me by surprise. He was silent. He was elated but couldn’t find the words to articulate what he felt at that moment. I was also having a hard time with my own feelings — so I got it.
I had listened to the stories about this crazy love you experience about becoming a mom. It was not until I had the experience myself, that it became clear to me that I was in on the secret: giving birth to your child is epic. My heart broke open with a love that can only be felt by that of meeting your child. I knew that my purpose had changed.
I bought all the books and researched all the ways to be prepared to be the best mama to my baby. I was struck that expecting moms experience fear while pregnant but that was NOT my story. I was excited, elated, and ready to take on a new challenge. It wasn’t until the day I gave birth that I encountered new fears. WHOA! Talk about having a day of extremes, love, the crazy love, and there it was — fear. Fear that left me alone during pregnancy had crept in.
These intrusive thoughts! I did not welcome them but could not ignore them.
HELP! It sounded like a whisper, this call for help. I heard the quiet, yet mighty message and it was an important one. Being a boss lady mother is not for the faint of heart and I believe that all boss lady mothers are the warriors of the world.
Ok, Boss Mama!
Here are some of the faux pas that I wrangled with:
Allowing guilt to run the show.
Guilt. The lowest vibration on the totem pole. Boss lady mothers feel the guilt of spending time with their loved ones and children. Then the guilt comes in while working and not spending time with the children. The guilt will make resentment a constant in your life. Instead of allowing guilt to run the show I suggest you create a plan, a rhythm that harmonizes both your family time and your work time. I work a few days a week at certain hours and I have certain days that are just for me and my son. There is no shame in being a working mama! Put the guilt aside and your child will see you as not only a rock star mama but making a mark in the world. These are what you want to imprint on your child.
You hang out in the wrong crowd.
Seek out like-minded mamas. The ones that can relate to your journey — support you through it and share the path when it may be rocky. If you are a working mom that is committed to sharing your professional gifts with the world, you can easily find yourself feeling judged by a mom that has chosen to be a full-time parent.
Find mothers that you admire, that inspire you, enhance your life, uplift and empower you rather than being around moms that may be negative and share their toxic beliefs with you about choosing the path of being a power mama. A working mom chooses to parent with as much love as any other mom, but also chooses to share her gifts with the world.
You do not let people support you.
Recently, I was with my friend, a working mama, and she was stressed, trying to do it all. While embracing my friend, I told her “it’s ok, you need support.” Hearing someone give her permission to be supported led her to hire a sitter and an assistant. You will be a BETTER mom and a BETTER business owner with help.
I am not going to pretend like I still do not have the occasional moment of feeling overwhelmed — NORMAL! Let me know some of the tools that you have added to your Lady Boss toolbox — I would love to hear from you.
Malaine Lea is a Wealth Mindset Coach, Mom-Entrepreneur, Rebel, Courage Creator. Malaine supports women in obtaining financial freedom by redefining and designing who you really are from the inside out. Find more about Malaine and how she may be of service at www.malainelea.com.